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Adoption Little Miss Spider by David Kirk This story helps children who are adopted feel accepted. It may also be some children's first introduction to the idea of adoption and can give them an understanding of some of their friends' families. It's just an all around heart warming story.
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis A sweet and sunny look at adoption, the story is framed as a much-loved and clearly much-requested family tale, and rings true from beginning to end…Curtis deftly addresses the logistics of adoption in a matter-of-fact manner that radiates love and reassurance.
**Thanks to Leigh Shapiro for helping me find good resources for this section.
Anger
How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger by Elizabeth Verdick, Marjorie Lisovskis Anger is a part of life. We can’t avoid it, we shouldn’t stuff it, and we can’t make it go away. Kids need help learning how to manage their anger. This author speaks directly to kids and offers strategies they can start using immediately. Blending tips and ideas with jokes and funny cartoons, it guides kids to understand that anger is normal and can be expressed in many ways—some healthy, some not. It teaches them how to recognize anger in themselves and others, how to deal with situations and emotions (loneliness, guilt, frustration, fear) that lead to or mask anger, and how to deal with the anger they feel. Young readers learn that violence is not acceptable and there are better, safer ways to resolve conflicts. They also discover what to do when people around them are angry, how to get help, and how to locate other resources (books, hotlines, school groups) when they need more support. For ages 9 and up
Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out: The Anger Management Book by Jerry Wilde This book offers a unique approach to one of the most pressing problems of our time. Child psychologist, Dr. Jerry Wilde, speaks directly to children and adolescents in a language they can easily understand. Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out is an empowering book designed to encourage today's youth to manage their anger rather than be controlled by it. Ages 9 and up.
Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!: The Children's Anger-Control Book The author defines the complicated emotion of anger and offers workable suggestions to help youngsters better control their anger. For ages 4 and up.
I Am So Angry, I Could Scream: Helping Children Deal With Anger This books shares a story of a little girl named Penny gets very angry in response to different situations throughout the story. She doesn't know quite how to handle her anger, until her aunt Rose shows her how to use an Anger Chart to help her deal with her anger in positive ways. For ages four to eight
Hot Stones and Funny Bones: Teens Helping Teens Cope with Stress and Anger by Brian Seaward, Linda Bartlett This book is a must-read for teenagers and for their parents and teachers! Teens' voices are heard as they are - unedited, uninterpreted. And what they have to say is more profound and more interesting than you would think! I also love the art and the poetry - it can speak louder than words. The author's information is real and down-to-earth and truly helpful. And the book is not just anecdotes and theory, but it also contains exercises so that it can be used as a workbook (also great for adults dealing with stress and anger!). Easy to read and very worth-it!
Healthy Anger: How to Help Children and Teens Manage Their Anger The author draws upon more than twenty years of experience as a psychologist and teacher to offer specific, practical strategies for helping children and teens manage their anger constructively. Golden has developed a set of skills that parents, teachers, and counselors
Anxiety The Worried Child: Recognizing Anxiety in Children and Helping Them Heal. By Paul Foxman This is a caring yet straightforward book about helping kids deal with feelings of angst. One in five children suffers from a mental health problem, Foxman says some experts call today's children the "shell-shocked" generation. Divorce, crime, violence, failing schools, the threat of terrorism and drug abuse are a few of the contemporary issues often magnified for kids by vivid media coverage, and they've contributed to the rise of stress and anxiety among children, says Foxman. The author, who suffered from anxiety as a child and as an adult, melds personal and professional experience as he differentiates between normal and abnormal worrying.
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias Tamar E. Chansky This book not only shares what to do but how to talk to your child about anxiety in kid friendly and parent friendly language. The author gives parents a way to understand what their child is experiencing so they can help. Dr. Chansky also gives advice on how to handle lots of difficult day to day situations. Though written for parents, this book is a great help for therapists by providing a language to talk to kids and treatment guidelines for the different anxiety disorders useful for even the experienced clinician.
Other Helpful Resources on Anxiety and Stress Management
Indigo Ocean Dreams: 4 Children's Stories Designed to Decrease Stress, Anger and Anxiety While Increasing Self-Esteem and Self-Awareness (Audio CD) by Lori Lite
Indigo Dreams: Meditation and Relaxation Bedtime Stories for Children, Improve Sleep, Manage Stress and Anxiety [UNABRIDGED] (Audio CD) by Lori Lite
A Boy and a Bear: The Children's Relaxation Book by Lori Lite, M. Hartigan (Illustrator)
The Goodnight Caterpillar: Muscular Relaxation and Meditation Bedtime Story for Children, Improve Sleep, Manage Stress and Anxiety by Lori Lite
Borderline Personality Disorder
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Back Your Life When Someone You Care About has Borderline Personality by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger This book is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive disorder and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.
I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality I often ask persons or clients who reports their loved one exhibit borderline characteristics or behaviors to read this book. Kreisman and Straus do an excellent job of explaining the root causes, behaviors, and treatment of the disorder as well as coping skills for dealing with a person with BPD. This book will help you identify and understand borderline behavior. The key is learning to cope with those who are have this misunderstood and painful disorder.
It was written several years ago, before there was effective treatment for the disorder. It may instill hopelessness and even suicidal if you are reading it and discover you exhibit these characteristics or behaviors. There is hope.
Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control by Scott E. Spradlin Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapeutic technique designed to counter extreme emotional reactions — before they lead to overwhelming anger, depression, anxiety, and stress-related ailments. An eclectic mix of cognitive-behavioral techniques, skills training, Zen, and existentialism, DBT helps readers pay attention to their emotions, assess their blocks to controlling them, become less judgmental of themselves when they lose control, and ultimately eliminate overpowering feelings. There are many helpful worksheets and assessment exercises in this breakthrough program. DBT is helpful for many, not all, persons with borderline personality disorder. It requires tremendous motivation to overcome engrained behaviors that may have been developed over time and were essential for survival but now keep you from living life the way you want.
Bipolar Disorder
An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison What's it like to have an incurable, but manageable disease? One that changes your perceptions of the world around you, loosens your inhibitions or cripples your ability to do anything? Kay Redfield Jamison pours out her experience of living with a mood disorder, using descriptive, image-evoking prose. With breathtaking honesty she tells of her own manic depression, the bitter costs of her illness, and its paradoxical benefits: "There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness and terror involved in this kind of madness.... It will never end, for madness carves its own reality." This is one of the best scientific autobiographies ever written, a combination of clarity, truth, and insight into human character.
Depression
Can I Catch It Like A Cold?: A Story To Help Children Understand A Parent's Depression by Gretchen Kelbaugh The book is a useful tool for adults who want to talk to kids about what's going on at home or in a family where someone has depression. Alex is a young boy who's father has depression. One of his friends confides that her mother also had depression. As the story goes on, Alex learns the answers to common questions kids have in this type of a family situation - questions like: "why does my dad act this way?", "will my parent get better?", and "is it my fault?" He also learns that he can't catch it like a cold.
What to Do When You're Sad & Lonely: A Guide for Kids by James J., Ph.D. Crist, Eric Braun, Catherine Broberg, Michael Chesworth (Illustrator) Everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes. Growing numbers of children are living with depression, a disease often mistaken for sadness. This is a book that kids can turn to when they need advice, reassurance, and ideas. The author begins by telling young readers that all kids feel sad and lonely sometimes, explains how the body and mind react to these painful feelings, then offers "Ten Tips for Beating the Blues and Blahs"-coping skills kids can learn and practice. There are additional strategies help kids get a handle on their feelings, make and keep friends, and enjoy their alone time. The second part of the book focuses on depression, bipolar disorder, grief, and other problems too big for kids to handle on their own, and describes what it's like to go to counseling. The book includes a special Note to Grown-ups and a list of resources.
Death
Where's Jess: For Children Who Have a Brother or Sister Die A small boy's sibling dies and he notices she is gone. The parents tell him what death is about and how it is alright to remember and talk about Jess.
Children are often overlooked when dealing with the loss of a sibling. They grieve, too, and need help understand the concept of death (especially since they will probably hear many euphemisms for death and get confused). This book is aimed at younger children, probably best for children age 7 or younger.
We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schwiebert Taylor Bills (Illustrator) The cover shows a small boy gazes into an empty bassinet. This book helps children cope with prenatal death or stillbirth. The most useful of all may be the endnotes for parents, which provide insightful and practical suggestions on aiding similarly bereaved children. Nobody wants to need this book, but those who do need it will be grateful to have it. Ages 2-up.
Divorce Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown, Laurie Krasny Brown This book addresses concerns as why parents divorce, what will happen to "me," where will holidays be celebrated, living in two homes, etc. The book will reassure readers in similar straits that everything will be all right. Ages 4-8.
What in the World Do You Do when Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids by Kent Winchester, Roberta Beyer This book deals with all the common fears children have. It can be read from cover to cover or simply one chapter at a time. This book gives children examples of ways to talk to grown-ups about their worries. It's also a great book for parents who can see what might worry their children.
The Divorce Helpbook for Teens by Cynthia MacGregor As if life wasn't already hard enough ... now you're dealing with your parents' divorce, too. You know that there aren't any easy answers on how to get through it all, but this book is going to give you some ideas about how to handle the tough questions you now have (and maybe even some you haven't thought of yet).
Fathers Are Forever: A Co-Parenting Guide for the 21st Century This book truly is a "how to" guide for fathers (as well as mothers) who want to retain a strong relationship with their children while rebuilding their lives. The book is very validating of fathers, and their experiences in divorce. It is also realistic in its assessment of the bias that fathers face in the custody process, while providing strategy for dealing with that bias.
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way by M. Gary Neuman This is a book for those parents who recognize that one of the major consequences of divorce is a life changing event for their children. If you want to know what you're children are really experiencing and want to help, this book is for you! Be warned, it will make you cry, feel pain for your children, and possibly recurrent feelings of guilt. But it will also give you insight and direct you in how to continue parenting effectively with love and guidance, with or without the cooperation of your ex-spouse. The focus is from the child's perspective on matters such as validating your children’s feelings, protecting your children from conflict, separating adult issues from children's issues, custody and visitation, uncooperative parents and parent-bashing, child support and financial stress, relocating, dating, and most importantly, how children "feel" about all the ups and downs associated with this life changing event.
Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again by Michele Weiner-Davis This book uses very concrete, basic information to work on present and future issues with Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SBT) techniques (common sense and straight-forward). Remembering and focusing discussions on what worked in a relationship instead of what went wrong is an important element for a positive outcome in SBT. I used this book when struggling with marital issues. It helped me understand what I was not doing to communicate that I had been teaching other couple for years. I accepted that I couldn't change my husband, but I could change myself. If I changed, truly changed my behavior, it would have to change my marriage.
Parenting
1-2-3 MAGIC by Thomas Phelan This book will enable parents to discipline children, ages 2 to 12, by instituting a system of counting and time-outs, delivered straightforwardly and unemotionally. Use this plan to stop undesirable behavior, stimulate desirable conduct, and cope with children's testing like pouting, bedtime, dressing as well in the all-too familiar incidences of children testing and manipulating their elders. Best of all, the method enables parents to control their kids without yelling . . . or worse. The author also covers homework, active listening, self-esteem, behavior in public/school.
Parent’s Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay. This handbook is essential for parents who want to use sensible, simple and sound techniques, logical and natural consequences. The book emphasizes natural and logical consequences, encouragement, belonging, parent-child communication skills, understanding, and family meetings.
Other Books about STEP: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting
& Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting of Teens (STEP)
& Parenting Young Children: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (Step) of Children Under Six
Raising Respectful Kids in a Rude World: Teaching Your Children the Power of Mutual Respect and Consideration. Gary McKay, Joyce L. McKay, Daniel Eckstein, Steven Maybell. Inside this book are practical methods and techniques for encouraging a two-way street of love and kindness with your children. You will learn how to parent the right way—for respect, with respect. Some essential skills include parenting with respect and teaching respect, constructive discipline methods that teach life skills, secrets to engendering compassion and tolerance in children, anger management and ways to address violent influences in society, and much more.
Raising a Responsible Child: How to Prepare Your Child for Today’s Complex World. By Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay. This is a no nonsense book on parenting children in a world of high expectations, immediate gratification and lack of mutual respect and compassion.
Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries by Robert J. MacKenzie Ed.D.
Parent with Mental Illness or Substance Abuse
My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has a Disease: A Child's View: Living with Addiction by Claudia Black Growing up in an addicted family usually means living by the rule: It is not all right to talk about the drinking or using in your family. Working through the loneliness, fear, and frustration by expressing feelings is what this book is all about. This workbook gives children the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings and to better understand addiction. by Jill M. Hastings, Marion H. Typpo This title is a valuable tool in dealing with addiction issues within a family. More importantly, an excellent choice for children who are seeing the effects of addiction in their families. It is also a very informative book for those fortunate children who do not have to deal with addiction. It will assist a family member or other mentor in opening the lines of communication about virtually any tough topic.
Traumatic Events
A Terrible Thing Happened - A story for children who have witnessed violence or trauma by Margaret M. Holmes, Sasha J. Mudlaff, Cary Pillo This book is a gently told and tenderly illustrated story is for children who have witnessed any kind of violent or traumatic episode, including physical abuse, school or gang violence, accidents, homicide, suicide, and natural disasters such as floods or fire. After Sherman sees something terrible happen, he becomes anxious and then angry, but when a counselor helps him talk about these emotions he feels better.
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